Respecting Individuality Among Twin Siblings


 I’m raising twin toddlers.

I’m raising boys.

There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t wonder if I am doing the job right.

Even though they are twins they are individuals.

With this being said, I dress them alike most days just because I can. I think it’s cute never mind the fact that it’s easier to think about one outfit instead of two.

But now that they are almost three years old, I let them pick out their own clothes at the store. Mason recently chose a Thomas the Tank shirt and even though Cameron has no clue who or what they are, he chose Ninja Turtles. In this way they are starting to express their individuality, their interests and their style.

Over the Summer, the boys got their face painted – they could choose from cars, rockets you name it! Mason chose a dinosaur and Cameron chose a rainbow.

“Really, you don’t want a rocket or a car?”

He chose a rainbow.

This made me giggle inside, and I loved the fact that he would choose something so different and unpredictable, yet something he liked.

The boys really showed how different they are from each other. Remember my post on potty training differences or the dangers of labeling one child with a certain personality? Well It all comes down to respecting their differences.

So for Halloween I asked the boys what they wanted to be, after I explained the concept to them,  since they aren’t quite three yet. Can you guess the response I got? I have a request for one dinosaur and one rainbow!

Here’s my predicament. I would have to make the rainbow costume and purchase the dinosaur costume – so wouldn’t it be more special to make two rainbow costumes? I want to honor their wishes and honor their individuality BUT, wouldn’t it be cute to see two rainbows?? I feel like they might request dinosaurs another year, but as they get older, would they choose rainbows again?

What do you all think??

Do I make two rainbows because it would be so cute? Or is this the moment when I respect their individualities especially because they are twins?

About Twin Mom

34 year old, born in a small steel town in South Africa, now living in a large Steel City in the US. Mother of twins and loving every moment.
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25 Responses to Respecting Individuality Among Twin Siblings

  1. Vanessa McMillen says:

    I have identical twin boys that are 19 months old. I to dress them the same a lot of the time, never thought I would but it is so cute! It is also kind of a game for us. Relatives and friends will try to guess who is who when they see them and it is almost a competition between them as to whom guessed right this visit. To your question about rainbows vs dinosaurs. I say go with the rainbows. They probably won’t want them again as they get older and it won’t be long before what you and I think is cute on them will no longer be “cool”. It will also be fun I think when they are grown, especially if they are Manley men, for them to look back and laugh. “Mom really! You made us be rainbows for Halloween!”

    Best of luck!


    • Twin Mom says:

      Thanks Vanessa, it’s great hearing it from another twin mom! I might make the two rainbows and have the dino as back up incase I can squeeze them into the rainbows :)

  2. cococute says:

    Having a twin sometimes is a luck, well, maybe in our culture and how I wish my brother’s twin were still here. About your thought, you are definitely correct that even though they are twin they still have individualities and it is for general, taking care of them both and treating them differently but on the same level will help their growing up that they have their own differences which makes them the same as all humans.

  3. Why not make both costumes? One dino and one rainbow? :)

    Dino costume: Green sweats, long green sock stuffed with fluff, a green hat with a felt horn or two sewn on top? :)

    If you respect them now, they’ll respect you later!

    • Twin Mom says:

      Oi Vei – not much time left for making a dinosaur! But your idea is “mommy – who- hasn’t- started-yet” friendly! You always have great mama wisdom – love “If you respect them now they will respect you later”. That should be my new mantra!

  4. So my answer may not be typical “mom” answer but I struggle with trying to treat my kids “equally even if differently”

    With that disclaimer, I would say either make the 2 costumes OR buy them 2 non-dinosaur, non-rainbow costumes if time isn’t on your side. Since you said they aren’t familiar with the halloween concept yet, they probably won’t know which day it is or care as long as they are in dress-up

    PS: I got my girls 2 firemen costumes because they love firetrucks.

    • Twin Mom says:

      Love that you got the girls firemen outfits! I bought the boys some too – we should compare pics! I bought them large so they can use them as dress up clothes for a few years – not just for Halloween. Have you taken your kids to a local fire station? Not sure if it’s the same in Canada but here in Pittsburgh, they sure are happy to show the kids around. Nice hearing from another twin mommy!

  5. SO CUTE love the rainbows and the pictures are adorable too.

    • Twin Mom says:

      Thanks Maria – you never know how many pics you need to take with both boys being so active – but sometimes I capture the perfect one :)

  6. Sofia says:

    Even though they won’t quite grasp the whole idea of dressing up for Halloween, I think you should go with what they asked: one rainbow and one dinosaur.

  7. Pamela R says:

    HOW about a rainbow dino—that way they are dressed alike but what they each wanted

    this blogger has one idea =)–

    Good luck!!

  8. Pamela R says:

    here’s the link to the post I was thinking of–

  9. Michele says:

    I’d say go with individuality. So, you will have to create and make rainbow and purchase the dinosaur–but you could try making the rainbow early and let the rainbow lover try it on–his twin just might change his mind–or he won’t but at least you respected their wishes in this one small thing.

  10. Rosey says:

    I’ve never seen a rainbow costume at all, what a cute concept!!

    We had our youngest as a plush dino once, it really was a cute outfit. :)

  11. I think that you could have made two rainbow costumes (and that it would have been super cute!) if you hadn’t already explained the concept of Halloween and gave them the choice to pick their own costumes. I would honor their requests and try to dress them in costumes that they chose, and Karen’s ideas for a homemade dino costume sound great and easy enough to pull off in a short amount of time!

  12. Corinne says:

    If it were me, I think I’d honor their requests. I don’t have twins though so I’ve never known the desire to dress my kids alike. I do love the recommendation of doing rainbow dinosaurs. Good luck making it or finding it if you opt for it!

  13. Mollygram says:

    Put a small dinosaur at the end of the rainbow and a small rainbow on the dinosaur’s cheek or belly. Two homemade costumes of each because they might change their minds at the last minute. I would let each one decide for himself. Enjoy every minute!

  14. Lexie Lane says:

    Aww… I always wondered about this. I’m sure in tons of other ways they are different and as they grow you’ll see more of it but it’s just nice to notice the little and very memorable things like this too. Very cute!

  15. OUPA says:

    Respect their wishes. One of each. Get sewing….. Love you.

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