My Toddler Put Me in Time Out, and I Deserved It!!

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This is the truth, the whole bare butt truth:

I was sitting on the loo, and as luck would have it the twins (2 and 3/4 year old) start “wrestling” in the other room.

Cameron is clearly distressed, as he is being pinned down by Mason, who is not stopping despite the cries from his brother.

“Boys, S T O P!!!!”

“Mason get off your brother, he is crying, get off him!!!”

I grab a roll of loo paper and throw it at them, and it doesn’t even come close.

Exasperated I get to them, slap Mason on the thigh and pull him off his brother. Mason starts to cry, but at the same time tries to hit me back.

I say, “Don’t hit mommy” and I try to put them both in time out.

“Mommy, you hitted me” Mason says as he crumples himself in a ball on the ground.

I lift him up, back into time out.

He is right, I hit him.

“I am so sorry, Mason” I whisper as I hold him close.

He looks at me still with such sadness on his face, and he says “Mommy time out”.

What could I do but join him on the step? I did exactly what I tell them not to do, so I turned around and sat next to him in time out.

Of course he tried to hit me back. He is developmentally at the stage where they learn through modeling behaviors. And he did exactly that he  – he modeled my hitting. So how can I expect him to learn and grow when I behave one way and yet tell him not to behave in the exact way I did?

Not too long ago, corporal punishment in school was accepted. After talking to some friends I feel the last generation of parents would use spanking as a way to stop kids from misbehaving. This obviously still happens today, but I think thankfully in fewer situations.

Studies have shown that spanking can increase the probability of depression in the child as well as violent behaviors towards their peers and spouse in later years.

When I went to college for a degree in Psychology we learnt how it’s best to use other interventions like time out, or redirecting the child instead of hitting them.

I messed up.

I was exasperated and lost my cool.

I knew better.

I deserved the time out.

But the bigger lesson I hope my son got that day was that even when adults mess up we say sorry and have consequences for our behaviors.

~ Striving to be a better mother, one decision at a time ~

 

About Twin Mom

34 year old, born in a small steel town in South Africa, now living in a large Steel City in the US. Mother of twins and loving every moment.
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20 Responses to My Toddler Put Me in Time Out, and I Deserved It!!

  1. Michele says:

    I’m glad you realized that you deserved the time out as well–at least now Mason will realize that hitting is not exactly considered a good thing to do. Hopefully he is old enough to remember this. But you have to remember that you are also human and can be pushed to extreme limits as well.

  2. OUPA says:

    He looks so sad in the pic. Shame mommy.

  3. Sista says:

    SISTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, you are right, we did get a hidding when we were naughty and yes, we did turn out ok! BUT I can see why you did what you did, and glad that you went into time out. BUT we are all human and get pushed the our edge from time to time, we all do it. I think Mason will learn from this. I was surprised it was Mason on top of Cameron as it’s normally the other way around. Also boys play fight, OMG you have that all to come, that would break my heart watching them pound each other.

  4. Awww! We all lose it as mommies sometimes. Forgive yourself. Your kids see the best in you and will realize as they grow up that you loved them most!

  5. I think it was rather brave of you to, even in the aftermath of a heated moment where you lost your cool, realized and understood what you did and why you thought it was wrong. Modeling good behavior is so, extremely important and I think you did an amazing job in this case while teaching them that when people — all people — do something inappropriate or unacceptable, they have consequences. What an important lesson that you got to show them instead of merely lecture to them.

    • Twin Mom says:

      Holly thank you – I hope that’s what they got from this. We all make mistakes it’s how we handle them that matters, right?

  6. My sweet friend,
    We are never perfect. We never will be perfect. You are learning as such a young mom that the most important thing in parenting is not to expect or demand perfection, but to be real, honest and humble. Mason and Cameron are so blessed to have you! Keep doing it just the way you are, humbly and honestly. You’re amazing!!!
    Love,
    me

  7. This right here is good and intentional parenting Leigh. I don’t know you in real life but I still have to tell you that I’m proud of you. Sometimes as parents we tend to be too proud/big to apologize to our kids when we are wrong.

  8. Lexie Lane says:

    It’s so hard to have to make quick decisions. All consequences are usually not completely thought out right away. I tend to be exactly the same and have to step back to understand what I did. You are such a super mom and handled it all so well.

  9. Such a smart boy, your Mason. And kudos to you Leigh for making that bold decision of going into time-out. I feel you.

  10. Kim says:

    God bless you. I’ve been there and I am still there. Love your post today. It makes so much sense….and you’ve got two and I only have one. We as mommies will make it! Sometimes we do deserve time-outs.
    Kim
    At Mommie…Again

  11. Corinne says:

    I actually think spanking is an acceptable form of punishment in certain cases, but never in anger. I have a bad temper so I personally don’t punish with spankings, but my husband is very calm and mild so he can deliver a spanking that is controlled and effective. Until kids reach the age of reason, it is difficult to try to reason with him or her. Sometimes, for their own safety, you have to convey a serious consequence for bad behavior.

  12. Loreina says:

    We learn as we go as parents. I think it’s awesome you realized how this situation appeared through your son’s eyes. It’s important to recognize that we aren’t perfect. None of us. We make mistakes. We make changes and move on!

  13. Pamela R says:

    What a honest post—There have been many times my kids caught me doing something I tell them not to–they haven’t put me in a time out–although if they called me out I guess I’d have to.

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