This is the truth, the whole bare butt truth:
I was sitting on the loo, and as luck would have it the twins (2 and 3/4 year old) start “wrestling” in the other room.
Cameron is clearly distressed, as he is being pinned down by Mason, who is not stopping despite the cries from his brother.
“Boys, S T O P!!!!”
“Mason get off your brother, he is crying, get off him!!!”
I grab a roll of loo paper and throw it at them, and it doesn’t even come close.
Exasperated I get to them, slap Mason on the thigh and pull him off his brother. Mason starts to cry, but at the same time tries to hit me back.
I say, “Don’t hit mommy” and I try to put them both in time out.
“Mommy, you hitted me” Mason says as he crumples himself in a ball on the ground.
I lift him up, back into time out.
He is right, I hit him.
“I am so sorry, Mason” I whisper as I hold him close.
He looks at me still with such sadness on his face, and he says “Mommy time out”.
What could I do but join him on the step? I did exactly what I tell them not to do, so I turned around and sat next to him in time out.
Of course he tried to hit me back. He is developmentally at the stage where they learn through modeling behaviors. And he did exactly that he – he modeled my hitting. So how can I expect him to learn and grow when I behave one way and yet tell him not to behave in the exact way I did?
Not too long ago, corporal punishment in school was accepted. After talking to some friends I feel the last generation of parents would use spanking as a way to stop kids from misbehaving. This obviously still happens today, but I think thankfully in fewer situations.
Studies have shown that spanking can increase the probability of depression in the child as well as violent behaviors towards their peers and spouse in later years.
When I went to college for a degree in Psychology we learnt how it’s best to use other interventions like time out, or redirecting the child instead of hitting them.
I messed up.
I was exasperated and lost my cool.
I knew better.
I deserved the time out.
But the bigger lesson I hope my son got that day was that even when adults mess up we say sorry and have consequences for our behaviors.
~ Striving to be a better mother, one decision at a time ~